Quietly sat listening to our new cohort of hypnotherapy students in Nottingham putting each other into trance seems today to be quite poignant.
Having realised that six years ago this was me. Taking that first step after becoming a mummy for a second time to join a new course and learn to become a solution-focused clinical hypnotherapist practitioner.
When people ask me what I do, there is usually the intrigued view that I can somehow make people do things that they don’t want to, involving a ticking clock and some random words, all from my little consultation room in Bourne, Lincolnshire.
I have spent the last five years at Hummingbird Hypnotherapy as a Clinical Hypnotherapist in Bourne, Lincolnshire. A business that I am very proud of. But, I haven’t always been a Clinical Hypnotherapist. I actually didn’t even plan to be one. It just happened. Then what followed was becoming a lecturer and now a newly qualified supervisor.
February sees us celebrate children’s Mental Health week. Something that many of us myself included are very mindful of at the moment.
I have seen many conversations about how resilient children are and how we must realise that they take things in their stride and they will be ok. For some this is true. For many, the harsh reality is broken routines, environments that aren’t school, social disconnection from friends, limited conversations and most of all limited social interaction. ALL of which we rely on for enabling us to feel good and feel part of something bigger.
My solution focused story and working with children with
additional needs and challenging behaviour.
I am often asked how I became a solution focused
hypnotherapist. Whenever I share my story it always makes me giggle. I was
fortunate to have an amazing birth with my youngest daughter using the self-hypnosis
for childbirth approach. A good friend and now colleague of mine Gary Johannes
helped me build the confidence to have a home birth and faith in my body to
deliver at home. Being 40 minutes away from the nearest hospital in rural
Lincolnshire I knew deep down we wouldn’t be going anywhere near one after
having such a traumatic time with my first child.
Safe to say my daughter was delivered by her dad in our lounge with the help of the 999-operator talking him through the process. I on the other hand cool as a cucumber and enjoying my birth experience knowing we were doing this together. Our daughter arrived in her amniotic sac at the same time as the paramedics walked through the door. The midwife arrived 50 minutes later and could not believe we had achieved such a wonderful birth.
There begins the story, four months later I was on CPHT Peterborough course adding a qualification for my CV.
Qualifying in June 2016 with my practice Hummingbird
Hypnotherapy. Unbelievable. Did not see that coming at all.
My background has always been working with people in
particular elderly mentally ill, additional needs and challenging behaviour.
Previously 11 years working for the local authority for children with
additional needs, sensory processing, autism and behavioural issues.
To put it into context, everyday was different many days
involved confrontation, increased anxiety, ‘kick offs’ and waiting to get hurt.
Not your average job but at the time I loved it.
Fast forward three years after qualifying and I am now
working with children with complex needs, autism, behavioural issues,
challenging behaviours, anxiety and more. The difference? The way I work now is
non-confrontational in a fun neutral space where all that’s been good goes.
If only I had been allowed to bring this practice into my
workplace. Not just for the children but the staff too.
I took a leap of faith when I began to work with children
with additional needs, I hoped that this process would have a profound impact,
the reality is it changes lives. Not just of the child but the family too.
I have been so privileged to work with some children who
over the course of their 14 years have been given 14 different diagnosis and
labels. 8 sessions later and she is a confident artist who has just set up her
own online business selling her fantastic artwork.
She has chosen too to
be home schooled and after only leaving the house with the company of her mum,
now walks her dog for two hours a day, on her own and managed to attend a
concert in London without a panic attack. Just WOW!
A little boy who does
not stop and enjoys most of his sessions playing with tangle toys, squishy and
sticking his head in the massage face hole in my couch (lol) who managed to
transition to a new school without increased anxiety and behaviour. He kindly
threw me a curve ball not wanting to attend a session in my room and preferring
to be outside. Nothing beats asking what’s been good?’ sat in the sunshine on a
Reducing anxiety with children with additional needs by
using the solution focused approach is at times mind blowing. Working out that classroom
layouts cause such profound anxiety in some children their opportunity of learning goes out of the
window. Getting them to imagine and choose where they would sit has been a fantastic
solution with amazing outcomes.
After his mum spoke
to the teacher about our sessions, she agreed to trial it for a week. He paid
more attention, his class scores increased, and he stopped taking home all the
work he couldn’t do in class as he completed it all in the day.
Part of the work involves my environment and fun. I talk
about being a positive pineapple, no drama llama, having a box of emojis
stickers and a crate of sensory toys to help with self-regulation and
relaxation. Colour boxes, ceiling lights and a comfy couch with a llama blanket
just add to a session.
Who said therapy had to look boring?
If you are looking for additional help for your child, please get in touch here
I have often wondered about how people feel about being on their own. Taking time to just be with yourself and enjoy your own company. For a long time I always imagined it to be quite uncomfortable, my own negative brain screaming at me shouting ‘ look at that loner on her own’, ‘ obviously has no friends’. I have often sat and admired people that are just happy to sit and read a paper and have a coffee within their own company and wondering if they have this annoying scenarios pop up and shout at them too.
I remember quite vividly living on my own in Leicester and a friend of mine just mentioned that maybe I should take myself for coffee in my favourite shop to overcome the fear of being on my own. I took him up on it, grabbed my book and headed out. Scared!
I found a quiet corner ordered a mega mocha and sat and read. After 5 minutes the noise in my head began to quieten and I got lost in my book in a caffeine fuelled daze.
These days its very different. In between work commitments and family alone time seems like such a privilege if not a reward for juggling everything in the week and surviving. I spend most my mornings in anxiety mode getting my children ready aiming to be on time for school. Inevitably im always late and instead of adding that too my bucket of negative crap I embraced it. In actual fact we now have a joke about it with all the other late mums. We now aim to beat each other.
Our fear stops us from making a proper assessment of the situation. It bombards us with lies and will continue to do so unless we take control and work with it.
Enjoy that quiet time, fill it with things that you love. Learn to have the courage and confidence to step outside of the wall you have built inside your head, one step at a time.
We all want to achieve things now! We have everything we need at the touch of a button but we have forgotten to give back and enjoy time with ourselves without technology. Those hobbies, crafts, exercises you enjoy doing are all the things that make you feel good and the things that enable you to process positive information and move forward. Take a moment to find that one goal that will help you to step outside of that comfort zone and spend sometime with you.
Whilst writing this months article I stepped outside with my laptop and headed to Stamford enjoying tea and cake at The Lean Pantry. I found a spot to people watch and thoroughly enjoyed my time writing. Eating chocolate cake and a matcha latte. Just time with me.
If you struggle with anxiety, fearful of stepping outside those comfort zones and need a confidence boost to move you forward in life. Get in touch.
Further information and videos on various subjects can be found on my facebook page Hummingbird Hypnotherapy.
Kalm Kidzz is back. A wonderful after school programme to assist children with positive thinking, mindfulness and creative activities. These sessions are designed to boost serotonin in the brain, bring focus to the weeks achievements and create a can do attitude.
Sessions assist with anxiety, low confidence, sleepless nights and more… A recent comment from a mum ” these sessions benefit my sons mental health and help him to relax after a busy week at school”. Regular sessions enable the brain to focus on positivity and assist with relaxation. Kalm KIdzz sessions are based on a solution focused approach. Spending time with children to relax their mind and boost serotonin enables them to begin to create more positive neural pathways. This assists them in using the intellectual brain regularly resulting in accessing knowledge, relevant information and staying focused on the task in hand.
Teaching children this concept from an early age can help them with problem solving and finding the positive answer to situations. Promotes a positive relationship with emotions and acknowledging that all feelings and emotions are valid. Keeping stress levels low and creating a self care mind set to set them up for their future. For further information and booking please contact Nicole on 07540873928 or send a message via Facebook. www.facebook.com/kalmkidzz www.facebook.com/hummingbirdhypnotherapy.
Life is a wonderful thing.. but does it pass you by?
We all go through life not knowing what is around the corner. There is a certain routine to growing up that has to be taken. Going to school, further education, job prospects.. but do you ever think, is this it?
None to often I sit with clients who have spent years worrying, every single day consumed in the past about what they have done and should it be done differently, or the future.. what will happen tomorrow? Next week, next month, next year even.
Can you imagine just focus sing on now? Right now! What are you doing? Where are you?
Just take a look around you and embrace what you see. Are you comfortable, what’s the weather like? Are you on a break at work or pretending to be?
What are you grateful for?
If there is something you want to do or change how can you make it happen for you?
Are you good enough to do it? Do you doubts Yourself?
HYPNOTHERAPY puts All those doubts Into to perspective. Over time increases confidence and gives you the belief you need to make those changes. Increases self esteem and puts you back into the driving seat of your life. Break the routine, plan that goal, get creative, embrace that person you know you are. Step out of the rat race, turn off that phone and be in the now.