With mental health awareness week upon us is a good time to share shizz and stories. The honest and real places that people have been.
As a therapist people always assume that I have it altogether because I have a good knowledge bank and always look so positive and happy.
The brave face, the masked one, the one whose heart is racing so hard she hopes you can’t hear it.
One of the things I have noticed after nearly nine years in this profession is that those who have truly been in hard and difficult places are the kindest most empathetic people I know and it is a true privilege to be chosen to work with them.
I have and always will be really open about my mental health because it supports others to sit in a safe place of understanding whilst they maybe struggling with their own well being.
I have had a very up and down relationship over the years with my own journey mainly depression and anxiety but that kicked up a notch when I had my children. When I had my daughter ten years ago ( WOW) she was my hypno birth baby and everything was awesome!! I thought I had everything together until she turned two. I came crashing down with what began as really negative thoughts. Whilst watching frozen being belted out on the TV and “ Let it go” being sung at me I had to get up from the lounge and go to the kitchen because my thoughts were telling me not to be here. My first full on panic attack. This progressively led to more intrusive thinking of not being here. No one would miss me, what is the point.
After visiting the GP and being held at the surgery for two hours with my children in tow I had to be collected by my husband and mum to ensure my safety. If the thoughts were not enough that definitely hit up the trauma stakes. A crisis team visit and a bunch of pills I was good to go.
Thing is I wasn’t. Juggling two children, a part time job a therapy business (the irony) I was in the depths of my own mental health crisis and had no idea how to get out.
So, I rang my therapist and my journey began. I had been running on caffeine and junk food for so long my fight and flight system took its time to turn off. My sister would talk to me on the phone whilst I walked the kids to school because I was permanently scared. Delayed post-natal depression, intrusive thoughts and daily panic attacks were now a thing.
Recovery from a break down takes time. It is messy and unpleasant, but I knew I did not want medication and so started exercising, increasing my greens, cutting coffee and prioritising sleep all whilst now being told I have a 10cm ovarian cyst and we need to operate. If it didn’t rain it pours.
Six months of work and the only thing that kept me upright was the purpose I must continue to support others. My business. Through support and therapy, I slowly started to feel normal again. I quit my job and went solo. I have never looked back.
Do I still get anxious? Yes, but now I know why and like many have good and bad days, but my self-awareness knowledge and understanding has helped me to prioritise my needs first to enable me to be there for others.
We are not machines, we can’t do everything and if we miss the signs we will break either mentally or physically. The challenge is getting back up again, and I have watched so many people do this it makes my heart sing.
If this resonates with you, share it.
If this is you, reach out and just talk.
A conversation speaks volumes with the right person.
Rebuilding isn’t easy but it certainly shows how much strength you can find when you are at your most vulnerable.
More importantly remember you are made of magic!! There is only one version of you and that version is important to so many.
www.hummingbirdhypnotherapy.co.uk
Therapy.. a place to be the true you and know you can make you even better.