Change is inevitable. It happens.
Sometimes small things just happen and we accept them and move on. At times the larger things arrive and we feel unable to process and move through in a way we feel in control.
Now just imagine that as your stress levels increase and your lack of control and certainty is taken away from you. The people who help you to regulate and gain control back aren’t there. You look around to find a familiar face but the people who are looking back at you are people who have no idea how you are feeling and now it is getting too much.
Your heart rate increases, you are now over thinking and trying to work out a way to leave. Someone approaches you and you push them away they think it is aggressively you just don’t want to be touched right now.
You run out of the room, leaving quickly and just trying to get out. To find a space where you can self regulate, away from any additional people, sensory input or issue.
This story is a story I hear about most weeks in my practice especially with children in school who are scared about going into school, staying in school and being able to follow their best practice.
We are not all able to conform to the same rules. We all respond differently to every situation we are in and believe me if our internal narrative is negative then we will already know the outcome, we have already rehearsed how to eave, where to go and know when we are about to shut down.
This is most days for most of the young people I work with. Whether they have an additional emotional or learning need. When they have a neurodiverse need, environmental need, health need, home need when they are just struggling with the additional pressure and not feeling like they do enough… this is everyday for so many children I see.
What can we do differently?
Ask them what they need.
Ask school to support the situation and meet needs if available.
Acknowledge where they are and know recovery takes time.
Feelings are valid!
Listen.
Learn and find out as much information as possible.
Seek support and keep seeking.
Find charitable organisations who can support.
Take time out to understand your young person.
Be patient. It s scary for them right now.
Ask them.. What has been good today? Support them in noticing the things that have been ok.. the things that haven’t been as heavy.
Please remember you are not on your own.
Private and confidential support for children and adults available online and face to face.