“You’ve got the power!!”

Not just a great old skool song but in reality, we are the ones that hold all the answers to ourselves and where we want to go. 

No one knows more about you than you. This truly enlightening piece of information truly enables us to understand that when stress and life stuff gets in our way, we find it harder to find the answers and manage our own issues. When this builds up over time, we then begin to doubt our own capabilities and answers. Struggling to know what to do. Incomes overwhelm, uncertainty and a whole load of negativity, our internal stress bucket begins to fill. 

This then contributes to our responses coming from the hippocampus which stores all of our inappropriate and sometimes negative patterns of behaviour. 

Ever had a crap day and eaten a lot of rubbish, ditched the exercise and shut down?  Yep, this is the primitive brain in full motion. 

Many of us believe that we are unable to find the answers, this is also a primitive response, the brain telling us what we can’t do. We need to quieten down the mind and switch its capability to its intellectual state… One of control. 

To do this, we need to look at what is going right!! What has been good?? No matter how small. 

This allows us to see the truth and show us that despite our negative mind trying to butt in, we have still achieved things. Moved forward, noticed where we are going and growing. 

 How often do you do that?? 

You can plan and create lists until you are out of stationary about where you want to go, but please acknowledge every small step along the way. This truly helps us to see all of the journey and notice where we showed up within it. 

When we notice the things that have gone well, we actual fire off the same positive neuro chemicals as we do when we have done it. Our wonderful brain does not know the difference between real and imagined and so use it for its benefits. 

At the end of everyday acknowledge “what’s been good?”. Ask your partner, children, friends, choose to take part in and promote a positive conversation, you will be amazed at how things can begin to change. 

If you are feeling like a negative Nelly and need a boost over the winter months, you can arrange a FREE initial consultation at Hummingbird Hypnotherapy and support you to be winter ready… ? 

 

 

How to manage the holidays

How do you manage YOU in the holidays? A wonderful few weeks, of family time can be great but yet exhausting at the same time. The juggle is real. 

So how can we manage things more effectively? 

 For a start have a look at what worked during the last holidays. I know that planning a home day really helps to manage my energy and wellbeing. Down time at home is important to get rest and recover but also to keep on top of things. 

Have a conversation with everyone at home in the family and ask them what they want to do. Something that involves being outside, a trip locally and supporting local businesses, a new park, stately home, a new walk. What do you have locally that you haven’t explored before? 

As a family we love finding new walks and beaches to explore together. 

Keep a good routine

This can help reduce grumpiness with the children. Keeping in a good sleep pattern can help process the events of the day and get good REM which helps us to wake up well. If this is a struggle give my FREE MP3 download a go to help at bedtime. The password to access this is HH2020.

 Ensure you get time to yourself

Creating time out for yourself is so important so you can still have space for you. Putting your oxygen mask on first is so important so you can then be there for others. 

If you or your family need support you can book a free initial consultation both online and face to face. Head to my website.

What is Solution Focused Clinical Hypnotherapy?

Many people I speak to are interested in the work I do but don’t understand how it works. Still even now in the 21st century we have this common misconception of mind control or clucking like a chicken. Most of which is media driven and usually involves images from comedy sketches and stage hypnotism that is far from the therapeutic tool of hypnosis and psychotherapy, that is incorporated into solution focused clinical hypnotherapy. A phrase coined by a gentleman called David Newton. He has taken the best elements of CBT, NLP, SFBT and Hypnotherapy to bring a modern and up to date therapy. Supporting clients to move away from the past, process and gain confidence to support a more positive future.

 

This wonderful therapy is based on neuroscience and our ability to focus on what we want rather than what we don’t want. A brain that is consistently reminded of all the problems will only focus on them and more to keep us anxious, stressed, worried, depressed. A brain that can relax even just a little can begin to find its own solutions.

 

As a practitioner, I don’t tell you what to do. I support you to find your own solutions and more importantly utilise the benefits of trance. This being just a state of focused attention very much likened to day dreaming. It supports your brain to figure out the solutions and more importantly put your body into a state of rest and digest. ( The place good things happen )

 

So who can benefit? Well the short answer is everyone. There are many solution focused clinical hypnotherapists up and down the country and many have specialisms. I specialise in working with children and adults with additional, neurodiverse and emotional needs. This area really excites me and has been a huge part of all the roles I have worked in most of my adult career.

 

I do however support clients outside of this. With stress, anxiety, depression, addiction or just those that feel stuck with something and can’t see a way through it.

 

My first experience of this therapy was as a case study a few weeks after having my son. We had quite a traumatic experience and solution focused clinical hypnotherapy gave me the confidence I needed to be able to cope with the change of being a mum, resolve past trauma and to feel comfortable feeding my son in public. This wonderful experience then lead to a beautiful hypno birth of my daughter at home three years later. Safe to say it has had a phenomenal impact on my life so much so I now practice it and teach it too.

 

If you are wanting further information on this therapy head to www.hummingbirdhypnotherapy.co.uk

When do you say no, I do enough?

A conversation that I have had many a time  “ What is enough?” 

Can you define it? 

I know I have struggled with this. The issue we have is with all the things we do already it becomes the norm and so we forget how much is already getting done. Our work or day to day system is then being busy and productive but because there is so much of it we don’t register any reward because we are actually creating stress. 

Now don’t get me wrong we all need some stress to keep us motivated and ready to go so we are feeling challenged but we can manage it. The change is when we tip into threat stress. A constant state of stress where the cortisol doesn’t switch off and we feel like we are up against a deadline everyday… even an imagined one. 

Many people also have a great ability to ignore or not recognise the amount of work and effort that they already put into things and so take on even more looking for the fix or the next best thing. (Yup, done this!) Usually because we just do not give ourselves any credit for what we already do and so our primitive response is to do more!  

This can then lead to overwhelm, exhaustion, anxiety, burn out, sleep issues and more.  

Once we begin to notice this pattern we can intervene and get honest with it! 

The thing with being honest with ourselves is that we have made the choice to change instead of just accepting things won’t change. There is an incredible amount of power in that. Stress and anxiety stops us from accessing solutions to problems and so when we get a glimmer of something not working for us and choosing to change it, we know at that point our brain is working more efficiently for us. 

 If you need some support to reassess where you are, create a more supportive routine and reduce stress and anxiety get in touch and book an initial consultation. 

 

 

Why do we struggle to take a break?

It is certainly something that more and more people are struggling with is taking a break. Time out, rest whichever you want to call it. The work hard play hard ethic. 

 It definitely has its place working hard and celebrating it but you know rest has to be right up there too. The importance of taking a break whether its allocated at work or you need to time block a space rest has its place. 

So what are its benefits? 

 Simply.. recovery. Not just mentally but physically too. If you’re a gym bunny even your body needs a day off. If you’re a workaholic yup your brain also needs time off! Put that brain on a sun lounger and give it a pina colada and a sunshine view. 

 

 

Rest. It supports our entire body and mind to step out of go go go and relax into be. We are after all human beings not human doings right? 

 So how can you rest and be? Rest isn’t just feet up chilling. Active rest can also put our bodies responses into rest and digest instead of fight and flight. Accessing the para sympathetic nervous system and allowing the body to chill.  

 Active Rest can be: 

  • A walk outside 
  • Time in the garden
  • Reading a book
  • Silence
  • Preparing nice food and eating
  • Being around friends and family in good company. 

 It’s time to make rest a priority in your diary. Block it out and think about how you can ensure you’re looking after your body and mind restfully ? 

 If you are struggling to switch off and relax, did you know that a few sessions of solution focused clinical hypnotherapy can support you to get back on track? Hummingbird Hypnotherapy offers free initial consultation sessions to meet and discuss the support you require. 

Available both online and face to face with appointments till 8pm four nights a week. 

 

www.hummingbirdhypnotherapy.co.uk 

Avoiding Burnout – Balancing Business and MUM

Image of Mum and children - Hypnotherapy Peterborough

I posted on social media this month on my personal journey with burnout and the negative impact it had on my life, showing two pictures three years apart. The point being that looking at them both you wouldn’t see any difference. So how can we juggle it all and manage everything in our day without compromising on our health?

Read more

When did you become last on the list?

 

Where do you sit right now with your list of priorities?

When you create that daily to do list, what goes on it first?

I can guarantee it isn’t something for you.

With our ever increasing need and feel to do more, are we becoming more disassociated from those things we need for ourselves. The words self care are banded around everyday but what does it actually mean for you?

The first thing that will always get neglected if things don’t go to plan is the one thing we probably need the most.

” Oh it doesn’t matter ” are those few words that we say to others if we need to cancel, rearrange or just no longer have the time.

Even when you cannot do anymore, you’re exhausted, feeling unwell, the mental punishment and questioning we then give to ourselves is just as stressful as having to stop in itself.

So….. When did you put yourself last on the list?

Who told you that you don’t matter enough to take an evening off, to make time for a bubble bath, to take that walk at lunch. To eat, drink well, look after yourself. Who actually said “you don’t matter so why bother?”

I’ve got bets on, you! You chose to decide you don’t matter. You put yourself at the bottom of that pile. How do I know? Because i’m the same. The difference is that I am slowly make better choices for myself and not others. I am choosing to show up differently and not try and do it all.

So, what can we do differently?

  • Make things you enjoy non negotiable. Have daily things to look forward to.
  • Move! When we get ourselves moving forward even if it is one step at a time, we can achieve more therefore having the time to give ourselves some space. Destination procrastination station doesn’t get anyone anywhere.
  • Plan regular interaction with others. It is really beneficial to talk things out with others so you can find solutions to problems and get a hit of serotonin from being in someone else company.
  • Take things one step at a time. Being overwhelmed is a sure fire way of forgetting yourself. So take things one task at a time.

If you’re struggling to prioritise yourself right now, get in touch. Clinical Hypnotherapy can really support you getting back on track.

I offer free initial consultations both virtually or in person at my consultation room in Bourne, Lincolnshire. Just click here to contact me.

In the meantime you can download my FREE guided relaxation to enjoy at any time of day.

Random Acts of Kindness


Random Acts of Kindness began in 2018. Being an avid fan of cheering people up, I became really aware that we all need joy in our lives. I gifted a Costa and a piece of cake in December 2018 to someone who I knew had been having a tough time and thought I’d really like to do this for more people. It really made her day. During lockdown we all needed a pick me up so I contacted a number of local friends and businesses. The generosity was incredible from meals out, gifts, pictures and afternoon teas, everyone locally wanted to be involved. Being able to support local businesses in the process was an added bonus. Once lockdown eased nominations came flooding in for those who had gone above and beyond for others. Doorstep deliveries commenced and kindness was delivered.

This year has already begun. Local businesses donating gifts, services, vouchers. November will see nominations opening. People can nominate those who they believe may need a pick me up, a quiet thank you for everything they do. A message delivered to show they are thought about. The ability to just spread kindness to others.

Delivery begins on the 1st December 2020. Gifts dropped on doorsteps. An entire advent of kindness. Everyday until Christmas Eve.

If you would like to donate or nominate anyone within a five mile radius of Bourne please get in touch with Nicole at Hummingbird Hypnotherapy via Facebook. www.facebook.com/hummigbirdhypnotherapy

 

Solution Focused Hypnotherapy on Lockdown

It has been three weeks since I moved out of Hummingbird HQ at Wake House in Bourne. I have to say I miss that space immensely but have found a small area of the dining room to replicate a smaller version. Positive Pineapples included.

Hummingbird Hypnotherapy continues to support people by offering sessions online via zoom and video call. With some fantastic feedback from a client in spain who wrote ‘ Don’t let your self care slip because of lockdown because i’m not.’

It is so very easy to let things go particularly under stress of not knowing what is happening or having an outcome or end date.

But, there are a lot of things that we do know and they are the things that need the attention, positive focus and will keep that serotonin rolling.

  • Aim to keep a good routine. In particular getting up and going to bed at the same time.
  • Get ready for a new day. Self care, fresh clothes, positive start.
  • Grab that daily exercise, even a walk outside can get those endorphins boosting and you never know what you might see.
  • Make time for some peace and quiet. In particular if you have children. Book a mini break with yourself even if it is at the bottom of the garden where they cant find you.
  • Write a list of good things. Notice what has been good every day and write it down. Acknowledge that even in this situation there are still plenty of things you can achieve. No matter how small.
  • Try something new. Listen to new music or find an interesting podcast.
  • Most of all do not be too harsh on yourself. We do not have a pattern in our brain for this situation and so our emotions can run wild at times. Remind yourself that this is ok and that everyday you are still doing your best.

If you are struggling with your mental health at the moment you can book a 1:1 initial consultation with me via Zoom call.

You can also find me on facebook sharing guided relaxations with you every Monday, Wednesday and Friday to help you relax during this time http://www.facebook.com/hummingbirdhypnotherapy.